


I'm Still Hurting

by DearestLizzie



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Modern AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-15
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2018-03-30 16:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3942910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DearestLizzie/pseuds/DearestLizzie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A tragedy rocks through their fairy tale ending and everything seems to be lost, including Killian and Emma. Can they find their way back to each other or are some things too broken to ever be repaired?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Still Hurting

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at Captain Swan fan fiction and I'm super nervous about it, especially because there are such amazing authors in this fandom. But this idea just popped into my head and wouldn't go away so I thought I'd give it a try. This chapter is unbeta'd so any mistakes are mine. If you find anything glaringly wrong, let me know and I'll fix it. Thanks for reading and I hope you like it!

             It was funny, she thought distantly, the things you noticed at a time like this. Like the pattern of the wood grain in the table or the delicate, balletic swirls the dust particles made as they drifted through the sunlight that filtered through the courtroom blinds. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew that she was focusing on these meaningless details in order to avoid the reality of what was happening. If she allowed herself to think about it, about everything that had brought them to this point, she knew she wouldn’t be able to hold it together. And she had to. She had done it for so long, kept all the hurt and the anger and the _feelings_ locked away because, otherwise, she was afraid she might lose her mind. She was so focused on that damn table top that the crash of the judge’s gavel made her jump. She looked to the bench at the front of the room in time to see the judge retiring to his chambers.

             “Emma.”

             Her head turned and her eyes, beautiful but deliberately blank, found those of her lawyer, her friend. “It’s done?” she asked quietly.

             “Yeah,” Regina murmured. “I’m so sorry, Emma. I really never thought –“

             “Don’t,” Emma cut her off with a sharp shake of her head. “It’s over. I just have to . . . put all of this behind me.”

             Regina’s brows drew together, concerned eyes raking over her friend’s pale, expressionless face. “I wish you had let David and Mary Margaret come,” she said quietly as she turned to begin packing up her briefcase. “I don’t think you should be alone right now.”

            “I’ve been alone for a while, Regina,” Emma replied calmly. “I’m growing used to it.” She glanced over at the other table, at the two figures that stood there talking in low tones, and stiffened her spine as she reached for her purse. One more thing to do and then it would be well and truly finished. Then, maybe, she could move on. God knows, she at least needed to try.

            Regina saw where she had been looking and immediately placed a gentle but restraining hand on her friend’s arm. “No,” she insisted, her tone low and firm. “Emma, it is not a good idea to talk to him right now. Things are still raw and you don’t need –“

            “Nothing’s raw, Regina,” Emma assured her as she unzipped her purse, retrieving what she was looking for from a small pocket inside. “And I need to do this.” The fingers of her free hand brushed gently across those of her friend. “I’ll be OK. Meet me out front?”

            Regina peered closely at Emma, her concern for her friend evident, but she saw Emma’s determination and knew that nothing was going to change her mind. “So damn stubborn,” Regina muttered under her breath as she hefted her briefcase. “I’ll give you five minutes, Emma,” she warned. “If you’re not on the courthouse steps by then, I’m coming back in and to hell with you being upset about it. Understand?”

            “I won’t need five minutes,” Emma told her as she slid her purse strap to her shoulder. “Go on.”

            Regina sighed heavily as she turned on her heel and walked briskly through the courtroom. The click of Regina’s heels on the parquet floor drew the attention of the only other occupants of the room and they didn’t notice Emma’s approach until she was standing right next to them. She watched with a sort of detached amusement as both sets of shoulders went rigid and the opposing counsel stepped in front of her.

            “Emma, now isn’t a good time to do this,” he told her, his voice deep with the hint of a lilting accent. “Emotions are high so it would be better if you both just let things settle for a bit.”

            Emma quirked an eyebrow at his statement and allowed her lips to tilt in a slight, cool smile. “Robin, emotions haven’t been much of anything for a while.” She saw him flinch a bit but ignored it. “I’d appreciate it if you could give us just a moment and then, I promise, I’ll go.”

            Robin hesitated, glanced over his shoulder, and shrugged resignedly. “Fine. Whatever. You two never listened to me, anyway.” He snatched up his briefcase and made to walk away, but turned back, his finger raised in warning. “But if you rip each other to shreds don’t expect me to stick around to clean up the mess.” Robin strode away, muttering under his breath, and Emma waited for the doors to swing shut after him before she turned back.

            Green eyes clashed into blue and it took everything in her not to take a step back at the anger she still saw blazing in them. They stood there for long moments, just staring at each other, until he spoke.

            “Well?”

            Emma blinked at the word, his voice clipped and harsh. Forcing herself to move, she stepped forward and reached for his right wrist, noticing distantly that his eyes widened in shock at her touch. Emma raised his arm, turning it until his palm was facing up and then rested her free hand on top of it. He felt her press something into his hand and gently wrap his fingers around it.

            “Be happy, Killian,” Emma said gently, her eyes meeting his briefly, and then she simply turned and walked away.

            Killian’s eyes followed Emma until the door swung shut behind her and then he glanced down at his hand, his fingers still closed in a fist. He uncurled them and felt a jolt go through his body when he saw them, the platinum and diamonds winking with almost mocking cheerfulness in the bright sunlight that streamed through the courtroom windows. Killian felt his shoulders slump at the sight of Emma’s wedding and engagement rings and he sat heavily in one of the courtroom chairs, his eyes still glued to the rings that had once represented so much and were now just reminders of something that they could never get back.

            Something that he had destroyed.

**Author's Note:**

> So, yes, the story starts out with a boatload of angst but it won't last forever. Fair warning, I'm working on my dissertation so updates will probably be sporadic for the next month or so (I submit in June) but if you like what you've read so far, please let me know. Your comments will tell me whether I should continue the story or not. Thank you very much for taking the time to read and I'd love to hear your thoughts on this first chapter!


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